William Shakespeare

What’s so great about being a married woman when Valentine’s Day rolls around?

1.  Nosy buggers don’t bother us with questions like “So who’s your date?”

2.  We don’t have to wait for the phone to ring.  We can pick it up and make our own reservations–and he better show up.

3.  If we are among the lucky ones whose hubby brings a thoughtful present, we smile gratefully knowing we’ll know where to find the receipt for a return/exchange.

We learn (aka surrender) that loving ourselves is our very own business–not a man’s.

Do leave a comment to add to this list…  And have the sweetest Valentine!  

© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

xoxox

Bill Lyon

My neighbors’ kids got her hooked on football this year.  Sunday’s Superbowl sealed her conversion to the sport and their family took the day off from school to witness the NY Giants parade down Manhattan.  They dove into an ocean of blue shirts, ducking streams of white paper rolls tossed about like footballs, amazed at the fervor of adoring fans who reveled in their heroes’ success as if they had played the game themselves.

With the lure of big checks, diamond rings, and celebrity perks, it is easy to forget that there could be more to gain from our disappointments and frustrations–if we choose to see them as steppingstones for learning and growth.   Many lose a good night’s sleep fretting over their fumbles, missed passes and Hail Mary’s that went unheard by the gods.  Unsung heroes like my neighbor wonder, “What about MY parade?”

 How can you give yourself a parade for showing up in the game of life?

© Sharon Birke

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Powerful Goddess is a trademark of DoubleSmart LLC

xoxox

Gypsy Rose Lee

She was only 12 years old when her little heart was swept away by a flamenco performance.  Since then, Marina Elana has dedicated her life to a dance that requires grace and the disciplined precision of the “compas” (rhythmic pattern.)

El baile flamenco is known for its emotional intensity, proud stance, expressive use of the arms and rhythmic stamping of the feet.  In traditional flamenco, emotional maturity is required to adequately convey the “duende” (soul) of the genre. Thus, unlike other dance forms where dancers must turn professional early to take advantage of youth, many flamenco dancers hit their peak in their thirties and continue to perform well beyond their fifties–much like the way a woman owns more and more of her power with age.

“Classical flamenco,” the style used by dance companies, is characterized by a proud, upright carriage that makes every woman look like the Powerful Goddess that she is.  At its most authentic, flamenco is danced informally at gitano (Gypsy) weddings and celebrations in Spain. “Flamenco puro,” the form closest to its gitano origins, is always performed as a solo improvisation.

And in the tradition of the courageous gypsies who originated this dance, Marina now makes New York her new home, designing her destiny with a production “Simplemente Flamenco” at Le Poisson Rouge this Friday, Feb. 3, 2012.  Ole!

© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Powerful Goddess is a trademark of DoubleSmart LLC

xoxox

I decided to do this for a year

in my imagination.

   Cornelia Funke, author of The Dragon Rider 

Much of Asia is gearing up for a baby boom in the Year of the Dragon, when children are believed to be born with an extra dose of luck, strength and an inherent knack for attracting money. The qualities of her Dragon sign suit this Goddess very well–not to mention the hand painted dragons on  favorite vintage wrap!

While I’m not into woo-woo stuff, I love anything that helps a woman remember her innate powers.  So I looked up the qualities that induce Chinese parents to arrange for the birth of their child in the Year of the Dragon more than any other…  (ie, 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012)

Dragons are self-assured leaders with the Midas touch.  They get things started and keep them moving.  They are feisty and opinionated, gifted with intelligence and tenacity. They succeed in whatever they choose to do because they are dauntless and determined perfectionists.   They know how to exert authority while being gentle with the people they deal with.  Dragon women are naturally sensual.  They  also possesses a mystical side, highly attuned to their intuition and artistic creativity.  No matter what happens, Dragons ultimately always land on their feet.

What Dragon trait will you claim this year?

© Sharon Birke

2016971947

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Powerful Goddess is a trademark of DoubleSmart LLC

but in their souls, women want the same things:

 dignity, respect, love, freedom.

Jodi Cobb

No other country can claim to be both mecca and inspiration for the proliferation of gurus as India.  Whether the expertise be yoga, business, finances, self-improvement, romance, beauty, etc…, being a devotee to someone who is supposed to know better helps us rise above challenges with the aspiration that “If (s)he can do it, so can I.”  Then there is also the convenience of having  someone else to blame when things go awry.

Author Meryl Davis Landau (Downward Dog, Upward Fog) writes in Huffington Post about gurus who admit they are only human, too: How Three Top Yoga Masters Find Balance, Both On and Off the Mat.

Seane Corn, cofounder of nonprofit activist group Off the Mat, Into the World:  I used to feel envious of people I felt were living their lives fully in ease and integrity. Now I recognize that no matter how I might perceive them, everyone is dealing with issues that I can’t begin to understand. If a shadow of judgment towards others comes up, I’ll immediately come back to me:  What’s coming up for me, what does it remind me of, how can I heal it in myself?

John Friend, founder of Anusara Yoga:  After getting over the feelings of betrayal and violateion when my bookkeeper embezzled all my money, I applied the ‘three As’ from Anusara yoga. Attitude, in terms of first opening myself to the pain without denying what I was feeling, but then being optimistic that I had the capacity to get everything back. Alignment, by, instead of putting all the blame on her, taking responsibility that I had put myself in that situation by turning my finances over to another person.  This calms the mind because by taking back control I knew I was reducing the likelihood it could happen again. And action, by creating a plan to get money in the bank to pay the bills.

Ana T. Forrest, creator of Forrest Yoga and author of Fierce Medicine:     Never waste a good trigger. Triggers — something someone says that gets you white-hot angry or terrified out of proportion — are horribly uncomfortable, yet they can teach you so much. My own childhood abuse led to two key triggers: my quickness to anger and my tendency to plummet instantaneously into an emotional abyss.  A messy room left by my ex triggered my ‘unable to deal’ avoidance feelings and heart stress. He left in March 2008, but I was retriggered by this again just the other day.   I intend to clear any and all emotional trash that I find connected to this. I am okay with being a work in progress. My philosophy encompasses growing, making mistakes and learning from them as a lifelong process.

How do you pay attention to your Inner Guru?

© Sharon Birke

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Powerful Goddess is a trademark of DoubleSmart LLC

giving up on being perfect and

beginning the work of becoming yourself.

Anna Quindlen

No one could put down Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson in my family.   Instead of starting with Chapter 1, my 12 year old went straight for the section on the thing dearest to his heart:  the iPad.  My mom wanted a quick turn to read about the childhood that spurred outstanding success (–and an early demise, Ma!)  I read bits and pieces amidst all this passing around while my husband, who rarely reads anything outside of work, finished the 630 pages in a week!

Steve Jobs’ story is about persisting towards perfection.  My 2012 resolutions lean more towards loving my imperfections:

1. I will see my fabulousness.  A girlfriend in her 40s drove home this lesson when she confided that the sight of her teen daughter’s amazing body (an exact replica of her own two decades ago) makes her wonder “What the heck was I complaining about?”

2.  I will speak to support trust in our own wisdom and the possibility that life is an adventure of learning from our choices, not avoiding mistakes and failures.

3. I will listen for praise and appreciation though critics and know-it-alls tend to have louder voices.

4. I will resist the urge to rip off the little hair left on my husband’s head when he insists on an extended search for the perfect sofa.   Surely being married to someone with high standards can only mean that I am perfect!  ;)

Malcolm Gladwell‘s article “The Tweaker” sums up “how effectively Steve put his idiosyncrasies—his petulance, his narcissism, and his rudeness—in the service of perfection” in  the New Yorker.

How are you already perfect with your imperfections?

© Sharon Birke

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Powerful Goddess is a trademark of DoubleSmart LLC

Ask what makes you come alive

and go do it.

Because what the world needs

are people who have come alive.

Howard Thurman

Aaah, the New Year, a clean slate, a blank canvas…  How do the messy details trailing us from the past clarify what to strive for as we look ahead?    And the beckoning possibilities are innumerable!   What will you choose for yourself this year, O Powerful Goddess?  Whom will you reach out to?  What freedoms will you relish?  What will you want to learn or continue to ignore?    What will you choose to do with your time and talents?  How much value will you give your “small” successes and pleasures?  How can you remember to  care for yourself, listen to your inner wisdom and feed your peace even as the world demands you do, do, do and give, give, give to others first?

A favorite self-help author, Barbara Sher, wrote humorous and practical classics like “I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was” and “It’s Only Too Late If You Don’t Start Now.”   This loving and sensible woman has been a bright guiding light in the journey of coming home to myself, insisting I dance to the beat of my own drum and honor my genius–however many.  ;)  Her latest book “Refuse to Choose” is an invitation to create and define our own fulfillment based on what feels right for us.  What could happen when we pay closer attention to our joy and trust it as The Guru that knows how to make the most of our talents, learning abilities and work style?  That in feeding our happiness (without beating ourselves up if we don’t make a million dollars off it) we uplift and inspire others to do the same?   That there is no such thing as mistakes or failure in the lifelong adventure of exploration?

What will you paint on your 2012 canvas

that  feels right for you?  

A very thrilling beginning and Happy New Possibilities to us all!

xoxox

Sharky

Makeup by www.ByJulez.com

© Sharon Birke

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Powerful Goddess is a trademark of DoubleSmart LLC

That would have rubbed off some of my originality.

 Beatrix Potter  

This Goddess was a little anxious.  She had never done anything like this before and she worried about all the things she thought she needed to fix about her body to look good in photos.   She had given up a career in the corporate world to adapt to the demands of multiple sclerosis while raising two small children.  Thanks to the help of her loving sisters, she prevails over adversity and has given birth to www.lula-belle.com, a jewelry line dedicated to raising awareness on various afflictions, what truly matters, and how we can support each other in our struggles.

Imagine her thrill at how her images exceeded  her expectations!  She tells me, “My favorite part of the experience had to be your laugh.  It lightened up the whole session making everything feel safe, fun, and delightful!  Your patience with an amateur like me was amazing, too…  You made me feel pretty the whole time.  Thank you for sharing your creativity and changing the way I see things about myself.”

Imagine her husband’s surprise when he opens this Christmas present he’d never expect from his demure wife.    Oh, joy!

Let’s marvel at what truly matters and the gifts of 2011 that can’t be wrapped.  In the school of life:

Where did I go in my travels and introspection?

Where have my choices led me?

What did I learn from my successes and failures?

What meaningful connections did I make?

Whom did I cherish?  How generous was I with praise?

How have I given myself appreciation and gratitude?

Be the HAPPY in your Ho-Ho-HOLIDAYS!

xoxox

Sharky

© Sharon Birke

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Powerful Goddess is a trademark of DoubleSmart LLC

will at least help you be miserable in comfort.

Helen Gurley Brown

More than the Rockefeller Christmas tree (which is looking extra fabulous this year,) the spectacle I look forward to seeing when the holidays roll around are the windows of Bergdorf Goodman.

This year’s Carnival of Animals by David Hoey‘s team is a mind blowing flight of fancy with brass birds, animals made of intricately hand cut/folded paper, needlework and carved wood, fish made of gemstones and glass mosaics,  gowns with fur, fine beadwork, feathers, leather scales and diamond mesh by Alexander McQueen, Oscar de la Renta, Pringle of Scotland, Valentino and Celine.   With five windows overflowing with animals created by artists such as Sergio Bustamante and Brett Windham, my eyes did not know where to start and stop looking.   Here are a few details to whet your appetite.  Catch a glimpse of this fantastic vision before January 3rd.

Thanks to the countless artisans and artists who contributed to this monument of creativity and wealth–reminding us of other realities, an oasis from the obsession of “this economy.”

What riches (that money can’t buy) embellish the fabric of your life already?

© Sharon Birke

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Powerful Goddess is a trademark of DoubleSmart LLC

we must get serious about taking ourselves lightly.

We must work at learning to play.  

Julia Cameron

“The Artist’s Way” by  Julia Cameron  recommends a weekly “artist date” to continually replenish our reservoir of creativity before we dredge a dried out bottom and feel stuck, blocked, or uninspired.   An artist date is any activity that’s fun, enjoyable, akin to childlike play and exploration.  My inner artist happens to be an uptown girl so for a recent artist date, I had to drag her kicking and screaming over the Brooklyn bridge to the new body painting studio of Danny Setiawan of www.DenArtNY.com (he’s matching me in red below.)  And, Goddess, was she glad I did!

Models patiently stood/sat through a couple hours of being a human canvas–whoever wasn’t comfortable being topless covered her front torso with a scarf or halter top .  My inner artist had not touched a brush in months.  She quickly got carried away painting the biggest koi fish possible, extending the design all over my model’s forearms and the contours of her voluptuous body.  After 3 hours of painting punctuated by fits of laughter and dancing, my model and I squeezed into the studio’se tiny bathroom where a wall of painted curls and swirls provided a matching graphic backdrop.  The perfect souvenir for a most memorable afternoon.

Add body painting to your possibilities for playdates and unique gift ideas.  Make a party out of it and ask Danny to bring his art to your venue!

Where will you take your inner artist on your next date?

© Sharon Birke

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Powerful Goddess is a trademark of DoubleSmart LLC